All I Want Is A Room Somewhere....

Now most will assume that house hunting in London makes no particular demands upon one’s attire. Wrong. Here’s why. Firstly, the mere fact that you look good might well be your saving grace when it seems there is no hope left in the world. You see, the emotions surrounding a day of property searching in the big city can be summed up in a simple schedule. Early morning - excitedly clutching Starbucks buys and eager as a puppy to snap up your dream city pad. Late morning - slightly knocked, Starbucks cups empty and anti-bac gelling your hands in case you caught anything from those grotty ex-local authority abodes. Lunchtime - sitting down for sustenance, attempting to buoy one another with ‘it can only get better’ type reassurances. Early afternoon - reality hits. There is zilch on the market. The shiny future home does not exist and all estate agents are greasy dream-killers. Evening - why move to London at all?! A commute of two hours is nothing right?! Oh yes. Believe it. Rent shopping in London, not the most glamorous of days.


But there are things that can be done to improve the matter. Dress appropriately. Fashion yourself as you would fashion your ideal property. Now I don’t mean arriving with a lampshade on your head and a curtain sash round your waist. If you want a sophisticated maisonette, dress to match. One ‘London-lad’ estate agent summed up the scenario surprisingly succinctly. As my friends and I sat the other side of his desk he reclined back cockily and said ‘Look ladies, I appreciate what you’re after’. (This is after we flatly refused to see any more Shameless-esque blocks). ‘You’re blatantly Mulberry bag girls, so I ‘aint gonna whack out any Topshop knock-offs’. (Actually his first analogy was between Kappa and an apparently up-market Addidas brand, but at our bemused faces he quickly adapted).


Your best bag is an necessity. Secondly, flats are a must. Traipsing around London, on and off the tube is frankly exhausting enough without having to factor in blistered toes and rubbed heels. And needless to say, never be without your makeup. The odd weeping session and pulling out of hair will make a coffee-shop loo revamp essential. If you sign on the dotted line at the end of the first day of viewing, congrats on the miracle. Most will have to endure at least another day’s distress, and will possibly be on the verge of summoning Kirsty and Phil to arms after the third. The property market’s an unkind place, but it can be sweetened a little with sugary snacks, a power bag and a good dose of spoilt-brat stubbornness. Keira, Sienna and Alexa made it through and so will we. Bonne chance mes cheries! See you in the city.